Stop the World, I Want to Get Off! (or)
Dropping Out
Source: pixabay
Tang ping or
lying flat is a new phenomenon in China, a rebellious reaction by young people
against the rat race. Lie flat and take
your punishment because the pressure, stress and struggle to succeed is
overwhelming. This would seem to
contradict our stereotype of the Chinese.
The Japanese reaction to societal pressures
is hikikomori which means pulling away or being confined. The Japanese solution has been to simply
withdraw from society and live the life of a hermit, even in the midst of crowded
cities.
Although the economy continues to grow and
diversify, Korea is also experiencing a similar phenomenon called sampoja
(삼포자) or three rejections (translated literally as 'people who reject
three'). Many young adults in their 20s
and 30s are rebelling against the pressure and expectations of society. The three rejections are dating, marriage and
children. The social pressures are so
great that it is not worth the effort; just give up.
Korean society is highly competitive and the
enormous social pressures have coined the phrase 'hell Joseon'. Social expectations and dreams are
pre-determined (and enforced by mothers.) The ONLY career path for a 'successful' Korean
involves a highly prescribed life plan. Parents
plan for years to get their kids into the right schools. Schools are important so one can start to
develop the highly important relationships that will enable you for the rest of
your life. Schools should not be
confused with a place of learning. That is reserved for hakwons or night
schools (often called cram schools) which are designed to help students achieve
better grades and pass exams. Math,
language and English are essential, together with at least one 'artistic'
endeavor such as music (violin or piano – it doesn't matter) ballet, or some
other 'soft' skill that looks good on your resume. Playing frivolously in an unstructured
environment is a waste of time! (When
the Ministry of Education included 'jump rope' evaluation in the elementary school
curriculum to give the academically weaker but physically stronger kids an
'equalizing' opportunity, jump rope hakwon sprang up immediately to
teach the best way to get a high score on the jump rope test.) A child's schedule is highly orchestrated to
develop the 'right' background.
The 'cram' part expands when you are in
middle school and need to prepare for the high school entrance exams. Periodic attempts to reign in or ban the hakwon
or even to curtail the hours to allow kids to arrive home before midnight have
been thwarted. There are parents who drive more than an hour to send their kids
to a famous hakwon. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the Ministry of
Education closed all regular schools but the hakwon lobby and parental
pressure were so strong that they kept operating unabated.
The process continues throughout high
school, perhaps even more intensively. Furthermore, charity or social work has
become a prerequisite for the 'correct' resume. Sport too is fanatical. One elects to participate in a sport and
practices intensively to be the stand-out player. None of this includes taking football in the
fall, basketball in the winter perhaps, and then baseball in the spring. You pick
a sport, practice 12 months a year and compete to be the best. So too with
hobbies. "What is your hobby?"
is one of the barrages of '20 questions' launched when you meet someone for the
first time. It is as if you are only
allowed to 'enjoy' one activity. And you
had better be damn good at it! After all,
this is the country where an Olympian is ashamed for winning 'only' a silver or
bronze medal.
Getting into university is the next
hurdle. Those years of 'cram schools'
during high school are designed to get a high sooneung (수능) score (the
national college entrance exam which takes place yearly) and deliver you to the
right university. There are only a half
dozen prestigious universities in Korea with a limited number of openings so
the vast majority of students are already failures at the age of 18 and each
year after sooneung, there are tragic reports of students who take their own
lives.
College years are the golden years. You have 'made it'. This is the time for serious relationship-building.
Your university classmates will form your strongest network in your
professional career. One key activity is
'MT' or membership training, a cross between a fraternity initiation and
getting blotto with your classmates (if there is a difference). In the modern rat race world, even this
opportunity to let down your hair and take it easy is under attack. Securing a good
job has become so challenging that university students actually have to
STUDY! Sigh.
The next hurdle is the job market. Having attended the right schools to matriculate
from the right high school and university, the next step is getting the right
job. The top choices are at one of the chaebol
– family controlled conglomerates such as Samsung, Hyundai, LG or SK. A respectable fallback is getting a good
government job or a position at one of the other ten or twenty 1.5 tier
conglomerates. If you fail in the first round of recruitment exams, there are
limited options. Many stay home and study hoping for a better result next
year. However, some companies only
recruit university seniors so it is best to postpone graduation and remain enrolled
as a senior. At some universities, the 'senior class' has twice as many
students enrolled as those in earlier years.
If you are lucky enough to get a
prestigious job, you become a part of a large machine. As a 'freshman' in a
company, you are assigned all the menial jobs.
Starting salaries are barely enough to live on (you are probably still living
at home with Mom anyway). Hours are
long. Korea has recently imposed a
maximum permitted 52-hour work week which simply means that if you need to work
longer than that, those hours are unpaid.
The Dating Game starts in college and takes
a more earnest turn after getting a job.
Your resume is in order. You went
to the right schools, graduated from an acceptable university and have secured
a respectable job. You are now in the
cross hairs of the 'mother-in-law' mafia. The coffee shops of the five-star
hotels are populated by women in their 50s conspiring to match-make the perfect
couple. (This is serious business and there are professional matchmakers who
link desperately seeking progenitors.)
Marriage means buying a house which is
increasingly out of reach. (Traditionally,
the groom bought the house and the bride filled it with the latest
appliances.) Having children involves
financing them through this rat race. And
when 'bride' becomes 'Mom', the cycle starts all over again. Increasingly, young people opt not to marry
and many who do marry decide not to have children (or one at most). Stop, it's too much; I want out! Reject dating, reject marriage and reject
having kids! In 2020, 42% of Koreans in
their 30s remained unmarried. Sampoja!
The 'three rejections' have become five. The
house is too expensive so scratch that.
The good job is also elusive so give up on that. Five now becomes seven.
Now that one is so clearly a 'loser', a relationship is the next to go. Who needs hobbies where you demonstrate your
prowess in a chosen discipline? Without
friends, there is no reason to keep up your appearance. Finally, there is nothing to live for so no
need to invest in your health. The three
rejections have now trebled to nine.
Many people interpret this phenomenon as
'doom and gloom'. Politicians wail about
the dismal outlook for the country. Financial
subsidies are given to child-bearing families.
Certainly, there are tremendous social pressures and traditional culture
is under attack. However, Korea has a
capacity for rapid change. The country
and people have 're-invented' themselves before. The Korea of today is vastly different from
the Korea of a generation ago or the generation before that. The positive side of the three rejections (or
five or seven or nine) is that young people will start to listen to their own heart. After rejecting social norms, one is free to
pursue one's own dreams. This phenomenon
is already apparent. The thirtysomething
man who abandoned his job at a leading securities firm to start his own
bakery. The chaebol scion who 'opted out'
to be a photographer and open his own coffee shop. The businessman who refused to send his son
to a hakwon because he never studied.
This is driving dramatic changes in Korean
culture. We have already discussed in a
previous post the idea of 'honsul' or drinking alone and there is also its
cousin 'honbap', eating alone. Even
in groups, it is now the exception rather than the norm that one person orders
for all. That most individualistic of
all drinks, the cocktail, is seeping into bars.
Young Koreans are at a crossroads and their desire to fulfil their own
dreams will likely drive them towards a future unlike the sampoja or the old
ways of their parents and grandparents.
Do you know how changes to Korean culture are
influencing your business? Are there new
opportunities arising in the Korean market you need to know about?? IRC has been supporting Western organizations
to identify and capitalize on opportunities in Korea across four decades. Companies seeking to expand into this market
or established firms seeking new opportunities can tap IRC's experience and
expertise to improve their business here.
Achieve your ambitious targets in Korea; ask IRC to guide your way.
